When your toddler isn’t talking or communicating much, it’s easy to worry.
Are they behind? Is something wrong? Should I be doing more?
If you’re feeling this stress right now, I want to reassure you of three things:
- Communication is developmental. It builds up over time.
- Both verbal and nonverbal communication matter—and count.
- There’s so much you can do at home to help. (And it’s not hard!)
In this post, I’ll help explain how communication—especially early communication—is about so much more than words. And I’ll share eight easy ways you can encourage words and the “pre-talking” skills that precede them when you’re with your toddler.
Hi! I’m Danielle Mondesir (M.S., CCC-SLP)
I’m an ASHA-certified Speech-Language Pathologist, Feeding Therapist, and the founder and CEO of Desired Pediatric Therapy Services. My experience includes evaluating and treating children in various settings, including schools, daycare centers, teletherapy facilities, pediatric facilities, private clinics, and homes. I’ve worked with clients ranging from 0 to 18 years old, addressing pragmatics, language, articulation, fluency, feeding, and developmental delays. My goal is to empower families, bridge communication gaps, and make therapy a truly impactful experience from the very start. Because when therapy is fun, children do better. And when caregivers are supported, everyone thrives.
Nonverbal, Pre-Verbal & Verbal: All Communication Counts!
I’m going to go ahead and say it: Nonverbal communication skills don’t get enough love.
First words and speech often get the spotlight—and I understand why. Talking is what comes to mind for most people when we think about communication. But in reality, communication is much deeper, more complex, and more inclusive than just talking. And nonverbal communication, such as gestures, signs, and facial expressions, is just as important. Because not only are these “pre-verbal” or “nonverbal” skills communicative in their own right, but for kids who will go on to speak, they’re some of the most important “pre-talking” milestones we, as speech-language pathologists, look for and encourage.
This is why, if there were one thing I could shout from the rooftops and have every family I work with hear, it would be that all communication should be celebrated! It’s also why, no matter what your toddler’s current or future verbal skills will be, the best thing you can do is to encourage “non-verbal” and “pre-verbal” communication skills, like gesturing, pointing, and signing. (But you can encourage first words, too!)
How To Encourage Your Toddler to Talk & Communicate
Nonverbal communication is a sign of great things happening in your child’s overall communication development. And, it has to happen before words will come. But…we know words are so exciting, too! So here are some of my go-to tools to encourage both nonverbal and verbal communication with your toddler. (I use them in speech therapy sessions, but they work so well at home, too!)
#1 Keep It Relaxed and Fun
Speaking from both education and lived experience, I can tell you that when children feel pressured to talk, they shut down. Statements like “Say dog! Say it!” can create anxiety. This is especially true for neurodivergent and shy children.
Instead, try keeping language and communication light, fun, and playful. (Play is magic with toddlers!) Many of the next tips will help foster this.
#2 Model Words
Want your toddler to talk? Give them the words you want them to eventually say on their own. Here’s what I mean:
Let’s say you’re playing with your toddler, and you can tell they want the doll that’s just out of reach. Instead of making a demand like, “Say doll!” simply model the language for them: “Doll! You want the doll!” (Enthusiasm and a warm tone go far.)
#3 Pair Signs with Words
Whenever you model a new word, try pairing it with a sign.
Using signs in combination with spoken words helps your toddler communicate more right away and supports their spoken language development at the same time. (And no, using sign language won’t delay their ability to speak!)
Some of my favorite signs to start with are “more,” “eat,” and “all done.” If you’re new to signs, look through the Baby Sign Language Dictionary and pick one or two to start with.
#4 Create Opportunities to Communicate
Set up fun scenarios where your child naturally wants to communicate. An easy way to do this is to get a favorite toy “stuck” in a clear container. Odds are, your toddler will want to get it out! Wait and watch for communicative gestures, sounds, or looks, then respond accordingly with short phrases, such as “You want the toy!” or “Open!” (Bonus points if you use the “open” sign, too.)
#5 Follow Their Lead
It’s easier to learn when you’re interested in the material. So, talk about things your toddler is naturally interested in or doing. For example, if they’re stacking blocks, say “Yellow block! Red block!” or “Stack, stack, stack!” or “Up, up up!”
#6 Practice “Serve and Return” Interactions
When encouraging communication, it’s easy to either talk too much (leaving no room for your toddler to speak) or too little (putting all the pressure to talk on them). No judgment here—I’ve done both before.
To avoid this, practice “Serve and Return” interactions. When your child initiates communication in any way (or “serves”), whether it’s a sound, a gesture, or even a look, respond (or “return”) with words, facial expressions, or actions. Then pause and wait for them to respond.
Think of this like a game of tennis—it’s a back-and-forth conversation, and it helps build communication, social skills, and connection.
#7 Pause
After you communicate with your toddler, pause and wait for longer than you usually would. Give your child at least five seconds to respond before speaking again. (It will probably feel unnatural at first. Count it out if you have to!)
Pausing allows your child to process what you’ve communicated and encourages them to respond intentionally.
#8 Celebrate All Communication
I’ve said it before (like, five minutes ago!) and I’ll say it again: Celebrate all forms of communication. Respond to clapping, pointing, head shakes, or vocal sounds. Acknowledge your toddler’s efforts by labelling, naming, or signing what they want or mean. This encourages them, keeps things light, and makes communication a positive experience.
Next Steps & When To Ask For Help
Remember, communication takes time, and many pre-verbal building blocks must be firmly in place before words can emerge. While you wait, focus on building a connection and creating a safe, pressure-free environment where communication is enjoyable and feels natural.
If you need more tips, ASHA has a great list of Activities to Encourage Speech and Language Development, broken down by age.)
That said…If you know your toddler is behind, the skills don’t come despite the work you put in at home, or your gut is telling you something more is going on, reach out to a speech-language pathologist.
No SLP will ever judge you for reaching out “too soon” or “overreacting.” We just want the parents and kids in our care to have the support they need to thrive.
(If you want to work with us, a free 15-minute consultation is the best way to start.)
References
- Communication Milestones: Age Ranges: American Speech and Hearing Association (ASHA)
- Serve and Return Shapes Brain Circuitry: Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University
- Serve and Return: Engage your child through conversation: Pima County Public Library
- Activities to Encourage Speech and Language Development: American Speech and Hearing Association (ASHA)
- 12 Ways to Support Language Development for Infants and Toddlers: National Association
- for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC)
- Baby Sign Language Dictionary
Test Audit. Please disregard.